Just finished watching Les Choristes (The Chorus). What a wonderful movie; not too sappy, but definitely leaves you with a very warm and fuzzy feeling inside. Although, I am known for my general sappiness. Case in point: I caught the last 2o minutes of Little House on the Prairie today. It was a "flashback" epidsode where Pa, Half pint, Hester Sue, and company reminisce about Christmases past. I am such a sucker for this show. I cannot, CANNOT watch an episode without getting at least a little misty. Ugh, I'm such a sap. That damn Folger's commercial was on last night. You know the one from the seventies that they have updated, about the son coming home from college? OMG, and don't EVEN get me started on the Hallmark Commercials. Okay enough rambling from Weepy McSappy pants.
Have a wonderful, merry, happy and above all safe holiday season.
xophilbug.
Friday, December 23, 2005
Monday, December 12, 2005
Stuff
So, I have all of the presents I have purchased, wrapped. Yay me!!! Now, I just need to purchase a couple more things and I'm set. Haven't decided if I'm making/buying ornaments this year. I always try to find the perfect one for each person, but this year, I just don't have the energy/inclination.
So, I seriously think I may need some pyschological help. Still can't make any kind of decision on a car or if I want to go back to school, what it would be for, what I want to be when I grow up, where I want to live. I just can't commit to anything, and get panic attacks, at least that's what I'm calling them until I get a professional opinion, whenever I even think about making a big decision. ugh. Life sucks right now. But what really sucks is that nothing really sucks. I'm relatively healthy, can pay my rent, etc.... but something is just wrong. Maybe a healthcare professional can help me sort out my brain. I seem to be getting post holiday blues before the holidays.
Did I mention my car's heater fan doesn't work and I only have heat/defrost when I'm going over 35 mph? So much for being thankful. At least when I had car trouble last week it was only the battery and not the alternator too.
double ugh. Gonna go make some hot chocolate, take a bath and read.
later, philbug
So, I seriously think I may need some pyschological help. Still can't make any kind of decision on a car or if I want to go back to school, what it would be for, what I want to be when I grow up, where I want to live. I just can't commit to anything, and get panic attacks, at least that's what I'm calling them until I get a professional opinion, whenever I even think about making a big decision. ugh. Life sucks right now. But what really sucks is that nothing really sucks. I'm relatively healthy, can pay my rent, etc.... but something is just wrong. Maybe a healthcare professional can help me sort out my brain. I seem to be getting post holiday blues before the holidays.
Did I mention my car's heater fan doesn't work and I only have heat/defrost when I'm going over 35 mph? So much for being thankful. At least when I had car trouble last week it was only the battery and not the alternator too.
double ugh. Gonna go make some hot chocolate, take a bath and read.
later, philbug
Monday, December 05, 2005
me no feel good
I feel like a pile o' poop, or maybe more like a pool of slime, yes a pool of slimey phlegm. I have yet another sinus infection. The doctor suggested going to an Autolaryncologist, ENT to see if maybe I have some sort of physical defect that's causing my recurrent sinus infections. I just got over one about a month ago. They usually seem to be incurred after my seasonal allergies flair up, but not this one. Ugh, I hate it. I hate being sick I hate blowing my nose every thirty seconds I hate snorting down snot when I don't have a kleenex or don't feel like getting up I hate feeling like I'm going go vomit from the amount of phlegm I injest in a never ending flow I hate that it feels like a three hundred pound man is trying to get out of my head through my sinus cavities I hate feeling all depressed I hate that I can't make a simple decision like do I sleep in pajamas or my clothes because it's just easier to wear what I have on I hate not having the energy to cook which makes me sad because Ilove to cook I hate it I hate it I hate it.
Hope that "sentence" was legible. It was my nod to A Million Little Pieces. That is exactly how the author writes, and it does make the book a bit daunting to read at times. No punctuation and no quotation marks or italics in the entire book. He swithes back and forth from narrative to dialog without a single hint. It is definitely an effect.
So, I'm supposed to be buying a new car. I actually have been buying a new car for over a year now. I get so bogged down by all of it and then just shut down at times. My parents gave me a nice chunk of cash for Christmas last year to go towards a car and here it is December again, and I still haven't bought one. I get so scared, no terrified that I'm going to make a wrong decision and get financially involved in something I can't handle. I enjoy a certain amount of freedom with my finances by not having a car payment. Now I'm just going to be like every other shlub I know, living paycheck to paycheck. I just can't see buying another used car and having to deal with problems inherent with them, but damn it's a lot of money.
So, add one part of fear, 2 parts procastination, a generous dash of phlegm, and you get: a depressed phibug. Why can't I just buck up and do this? I really don't understand when/where I got all scared and reticent to do things. Maybe I need therapy, maybe I need someone to slap me and say "grow up", maybe I just need to eat some dinner and go back to bed, and see what tomorrow brings. later, Philbug.
Hope that "sentence" was legible. It was my nod to A Million Little Pieces. That is exactly how the author writes, and it does make the book a bit daunting to read at times. No punctuation and no quotation marks or italics in the entire book. He swithes back and forth from narrative to dialog without a single hint. It is definitely an effect.
So, I'm supposed to be buying a new car. I actually have been buying a new car for over a year now. I get so bogged down by all of it and then just shut down at times. My parents gave me a nice chunk of cash for Christmas last year to go towards a car and here it is December again, and I still haven't bought one. I get so scared, no terrified that I'm going to make a wrong decision and get financially involved in something I can't handle. I enjoy a certain amount of freedom with my finances by not having a car payment. Now I'm just going to be like every other shlub I know, living paycheck to paycheck. I just can't see buying another used car and having to deal with problems inherent with them, but damn it's a lot of money.
So, add one part of fear, 2 parts procastination, a generous dash of phlegm, and you get: a depressed phibug. Why can't I just buck up and do this? I really don't understand when/where I got all scared and reticent to do things. Maybe I need therapy, maybe I need someone to slap me and say "grow up", maybe I just need to eat some dinner and go back to bed, and see what tomorrow brings. later, Philbug.
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