Ah summer "vacation"

First day of summer classes yesterday. Not too bad. I think I'll make it. On one hand I have the typical Phil, I'm going to do the best job I can and stress out over everything. On the other, fuck it. I'm trying to lean toward the other hand. I have A's in all my classes and have barely learned a thing. I need to just keep a B+ average, so I have some wiggle room. Gonna try to just do the work without getting so worked up over all of it. So that's that.
Relationship alert. WTF is going on? I know there's lots of mid-life crisis type issues going on. Maybe I just need to ride the waves a little more instead of being an anchor. But then who would I be? It's a rough right now and I need to just trust that this is all in God's plan whether I can see what's going on or not. Maybe this is a way for me to break ties with Indy so I can go elsewhere to teach which is part of the bigger plan? I can't even begin to imagine. I just know that it hurts right now, and I want it to be better for both of us.
His dad is home and doing better, so I am thankful for that. Sarah is doing better, so I'm thankful for that.
I just wish I knew what grade and where I was student teaching next fall. That would help a bit with my stress! Also, knowing what "is missing" in our relationship would helpmore than a bit too.

God, help me to see what you need to me to see, so I can fulfil the plans you have in store for me. Give me the strength to deal with whatever comes my way, knowing you're there through all of it with me.